Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
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