whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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