i just had sex bonerless
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
