I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
