Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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