So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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