Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
