I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
