Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
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It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
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If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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