I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize