Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
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Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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