Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
