I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize