i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
