She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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