i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Even my vagina gasped.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
