So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why do cheetos always look like penises
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
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He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I had to cum in my sink.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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