i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
