cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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