3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
