you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
