Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
