Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
