so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
