You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
