Where is the hickey?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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