When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The best revenge is premature balding
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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