All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
