i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
