That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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