In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
