Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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