And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
