I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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