I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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