Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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