is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Dicks are not precious.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize