If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
