are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
