neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He passed out mid-signature
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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