Moan for me like Helen Keller
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
