Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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