it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
