he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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