He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
