I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
