Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
