I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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