Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
