how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
