But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
