Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
