He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
