You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
