i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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