Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
