I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
