Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Randomize
