I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
