Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
