Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
