Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize